THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
two words...techno handjob
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
