hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
