The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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