well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
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they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
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I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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