I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He better not be in your backpack
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
