That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
