i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize