how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
