Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
