I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize