Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
No subtext here. People are naked.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
