omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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