if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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