I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize