i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
