im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
