SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
