3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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