U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
