Soap is not a condiment
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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