i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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