And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
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I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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