i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
