help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
