I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
