every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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