good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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