but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize