I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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