Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
