im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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