Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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