Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
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I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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