Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
