Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
