like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
