Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
