Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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