I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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