I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
