Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
