I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize