this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize