Cold hands, warm shart.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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