I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
