Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize