Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
