On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
