U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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