I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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