I think I just saw someone hide a body.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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