either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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