I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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