"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
