I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
