Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize