so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
