just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
