A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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